Across Europe, the USA, and Canada, schools are grappling with rising non-attendance and exclusion rates - trends that have only accelerated since the pandemic. The UK is no exception. Not unrelated, I believe, is the teacher recruitment and retention crisis - where unfilled posts remain empty and schools spend huge amounts from dwindling budgets trying to attract quality staff.
At a recent recruitment process I attended, four out of six candidates withdrew mid-process, stating that the school’s culture wasn’t the right fit for them. Furthermore, the shocking data from the latest Teacher Wellbeing Index highlights that 50% of respondents felt that they worked ‘in a negative school culture’.
As a Specialist Educator working with trauma informed practice, it is clear to me that, if we are going to successfully tackle these inter-related issues, the time is now. Shifting culture and practice in schools towards a more relational approach is vital. Attendance, exclusions, retention, and recruitment are different sides of the same dice. Far from being isolated problems, they all stem from the same fundamental issue: the need for a more relational approach in schools.
What is Relational Practice?
Relational practice refers to an approach to education that prioritises building positive, trusting relationships between students, school staff, and the wider school community. Far from being a ‘soft approach’, as some critics suggest, relational practice demands significant strength. By fostering a supportive and inclusive environment where students feel valued and understood, schools can create a culture where non-attendance and exclusions are significantly reduced and, in some cases, prevented altogether. And, vitally, teachers actually enjoy coming to work!
Now, I have worked in and with schools for over thirty years and there is no school in this land that would say that they don’t prioritise relationships. However, there are children in these schools who do not feel seen, understood or connected to their educational experience. What we think is relational is often not being felt as relational by our pupils.
The Science Behind Relational Practice
Relational Practice is, by design, trauma informed practice. For the past seventeen years I’ve worked with schools and school leaders to better understand and implement a trauma-responsive approach to teaching, learning and behaviour. The neuroscience supporting this approach is unequivocable - children learn and behave best when they feel safe and valued. Yet, the dominant educational culture in England has been increasingly behaviourist, particularly in the growing academy sector, where ‘mechanistic teaching’ is prevalent.
But children are not machines. Their behaviour tells us when approaches aren’t working. When they feel disconnected, they disengage. In extreme cases, they stop attending school altogether or become subject to exclusions.
Why Disconnection Drives Absence and Exclusion
While the various barriers to successful school attendance are myriad and complex, it is fair to say that one major factor is the disconnection many students feel from their school community. Years of attachment research confirm that when students lack a sense of belonging, disengagement follows. Traditional disciplinary measures, especially exclusion, often exacerbate the problem by creating a cycle of alienation and resentment.
Relational practice, on the other hand, offers an alternative approach by building healthy connections between students and school staff. When educators build these relationships, students feel more invested in their education, thereby improving attendance and reducing the likelihood of exclusion.
Understanding the Bigger Picture
A relational approach acknowledges the complexity of students’ lives beyond the school gates. Many students who struggle with attendance or behaviour issues come from challenging backgrounds, such as poverty, family instability, or trauma. These external factors can significantly affect behaviour and engagement in school. Rather than punishing these pupils for the skills they have not yet been able to develop, a relational approach focuses on understanding their circumstances and adapting our level of attunement to offer support.
Teachers and school staff serve as mentors, providing emotional and social support that addresses the root causes of non-attendance and behavioural difficulties. This holistic approach, something I call ‘coaching with kindness’, helps to mitigate feelings of isolation and frustration.
The Role of the Whole School Community
Relational practice also encourages collaboration between all members of the school community—students, teachers, parents, and even the broader local community. The Teacher Wellbeing Index highlighted that problematic relationships with parents and caregivers are another key reason teachers leave the profession.
When schools adopt a relational approach, they work toward creating an environment of shared responsibility and collective problem-solving. Parents are seen as partners in their child’s education, and there is an emphasis on communication and transparency. This creates a sense of continuity and support that extends beyond the classroom, which is especially important for students who may feel disconnected or unsupported in other areas of their lives. Where there is disconnection at home, relational practice in school enhances learning and behavioural outcomes significantly.
A Culture Shift, Not a Passing Trend
We all know that, in education, things go in and out of fashion. However, our biological needs remain constant. We are hard wired for connection and relationship; they are intrinsic to our survival. Schools that embrace relational practice move away from punitive discipline and towards restorative approaches—ones that align with human development rather than working against it.
When implemented well, restorative practices help students reflect on their actions, understand their impact, and take responsibility—fostering empathy, accountability, and long-term behavioural change.
The Wider Impact: Wellbeing, Performance, and Retention
When schools prioritise relational practice, they create a positive school climate that enhances both students’ and staffs’ overall well-being. Students and staff who feel safe, respected, and valued are more likely to attend school regularly and engage in their teaching and learning. Positive relationships also contribute to a sense of community and belonging, which can reduce feelings of alienation and improve mental health outcomes for everyone. In turn, a positive school climate is linked to better academic performance, greater emotional resilience, and a reduction in risky behaviours. What’s not to like?
The Future of Education
A shift towards relational practice in schools offers a proactive, supportive approach to addressing the challenges of non-attendance and exclusions. By fostering strong, trusting relationships, understanding the individual needs of students, and creating a positive, inclusive school environment, schools can reduce the factors that contribute to disengagement, Emotionally Based Non-Attendance and behavioural difficulties rooted in early life trauma and attachment disruption.
This shift not only improves attendance and reduces exclusions but also helps build a more compassionate, supportive educational system that better serves all students and the adults they will become.
I know where I’d rather work!
The RRR Programme provides actionable strategies to help tackle non-attendance and exclusions by transforming school culture.
