How to Talk to Your Child About Difficult Topics
Talking to children and teens about serious topics can feel daunting. Research shows that less than half of worried parents discuss difficult topics with their child – even though children find it helpful when they do.
In today’s world – with advances in technology, social media, shifts in social values and identities and endless parenting advice - raising children is complex.
The good news: communication is a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice.
The key to these discussions is taking an open and patient approach. It’s not about having a perfect conversation, it’s about creating an ongoing exchange.
We know having important conversations with your child or teenager can be hard. To help, we’ve put together a list of conversation prompts to help spark meaningful discussions. We’ve also put together some tips on talking about the different aspects of today’s teens’ lives.
Tips For Having a Conversation
Pick the Right Moment (or Let Them Pick)
Trying to have a deep conversation when your child is already stressed, tired, or distracted isn’t likely to go well. And be flexible: sometimes, the best conversations happen when they choose a time to open up.
Find the Right Setting
Everyone is different. Some may prefer a quiet, one-on-one talk, while others might open up more when they’re engaged in an activity, like going for a walk. If in doubt, just ask them: “Is now a good time to talk?”
Use Open-Ended Questions and Active Listening
The best conversations come from asking the right kind of questions. Instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” try “What was the best part of your day?” Open-ended questions encourage deeper responses.
And, when they do share, show that you’re listening - research shows that using engaged listening techniques like eye contact, nodding and praising their openness makes teens more likely to listen and open up.
Listening More, Lecture Less
When you feel a strong urge to make a point, pause. Often, that instinct leads to a lecture, which can make children tune out.
Instead of treating the conversation like a lesson, approach it as an opportunity to listen and understand.
Be Honest, Don’t Panic
Children often know more than we assume. If we avoid difficult subjects, they might think that the topic is too scary or overwhelming - even for adults.
If your child sees you staying calm, they’re more likely to feel secure. Of course, staying composed isn’t always easy. Taking deep breaths, pausing before responding, or even admitting, “This is a tough topic for me too, but I’m glad we’re talking about it” can all help set the right tone.
Respect Their Growing Perspectives
As children grow, their ideas and opinions evolve. They’ll be influenced by their peers, social media, and their own experiences. You may not always agree with them—and that’s okay. Keep an open mind, and engage with curiosity rather than judgment.
Make It an Ongoing Conversation
Big topics don’t have to be tackled in one sitting. In fact, spacing conversations out over time can help process information better. Let them know that they can come back to the topic anytime.
There’s no perfect formula for talking to your child about tough subjects, but every effort you make helps. Keep conversations open, be willing to listen, and most importantly, let them know they can always come to you.
Looking for conversation starters? You can download our free list of prompts to help spark meaningful discussions with your child or teenager.
📌 Download our Conversation Prompts for Parents here
Things to bear in mind when talking to your teen
On Stress, Anxiety and Mental Health
Young people are more aware of mental health, but the information they find isn’t always reliable. They face new challenges like cyberbullying and social media comparison, and they aren’t always best equipped to handle them.
As a parent or caregiver, you play an essential role in your child’s life. Encouraging healthy habits, upholding routines and boundaries, and looking after your own wellbeing can all set a strong foundation. But sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen, talk, and reassure them that they can always come to you. However, if you’re worried they might be struggling more seriously, don’t hesitate to speak to your GP.
Technology and internet safety
The online world can be intense, even for tech-savvy teens. With apps, filters and news feeds shaping their experiences of the world, the pressure to present perfectly can be huge.
Many young people explore their identities online, learning about topics like culture, race, religion, sexuality, gender and neurodivergence. While the internet can be a place of learning and connection, it can also be confusing.
On Future Planning
With new industries and technologies bringing continuous change, it’s hard for today’s children and young people to know what the future job market will look like. While innovation can bring opportunity, it may be difficult for them to know where to focus their skills. Combine that with economic uncertainty and environmental concerns, and future planning can feel overwhelming.
On Emotional Health
Anxiety and depression are rising, and while children who face adversity are at increased risk, anybody can struggle with mental health. But there’s hope – a 2022 study of young teenagers found that building self-regulation skills and self-esteem boosts mental health and resilience. It doesn’t have to be complicated – just talking openly about mental health and finding ways to boost wellbeing is a great start.
On Friendships and Interactions
Childhood and adolescence mould how we navigate relationships. As children grow, life transitions, identity changes and shifting interests can impact their friendships. Issues like peer pressure, bullying – both online and off – and the influence of social media, all add to the challenge.
It’s not always easy to know what to say, but children look to adults for guidance in relationships. Letting them know their values, identities and needs are valid, and that they should feel appreciated in their relationships can make a world of difference.
Body image
More than a third of teenagers are unhappy with their appearance. With social media, celebrity culture and the booming beauty industry, body image pressure is everywhere.
Body image isn’t just about weight or looks – it’s complex and deeply personal. Young people face pressures from all directions, but the good news is that parents can make a big difference. Gently challenging negative self-talk, talking kindly about your own appearance and encouraging them to talk about themselves as they would a friend can help them shift to a more positive perspective of themselves.
Identity
Figuring out who we are is a lifelong process, but things accelerate in our teen years. Identity can mean lots of different things – from beliefs and interests to gender identity and sexuality. For some young people, this includes exploring their LGBTQIA+ identity, which can come with its own challenges and questions. Exploring this can sometimes look like acting out, rebelling, or seeking validation from questionable sources.
While it can be tough to witness, it’s important that your child feels safe talking to you. Showing empathy and authenticity can make them more likely to tell you when they’re worried.
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